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Monthly Archives: July 2010

The Anxiety

In this reverie, You caught me,

When I read upon that email,

And a mixed feelings beat my heart wildly.

Happiness, joy, anxiety,

Anxiety.

There at home where I am stuck on my chair.

Questioning myself what to expect.

Undoubtedly, a time that my faith is being tested.

Agitated, I silenced my own voice,

and desperately looking for Your voice.

In the bird chatters, in the falling leaves,

In the whispering wind.

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Posted by on July 23, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Unfair World

Watch this!!

Or this!!!!


Aaaarrghhhh! Suaranyaaaaa…. I’m officially jealous!!!!

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Tenornya bagus

Bassnya tetep mantap (padahal Asia!!)

Solonya luar biasa

Harmoninya pas

Bisa beat box

Kurang apaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….

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DUNIA MEMANG TIDAK ADIL!!!!!

But maybe, that’s why it’s enjoyable.

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Thanks God, that I may still enjoy his beautiful singing voice.. =)

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Written while listening to…. er… clear enough, I guess. =P

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Lesson to Let Go

Hari ini, renungan gw diambil dari kisah tentang Lot di Sodom. Entah bagaimana, gw kepikiran aja untuk menempatkan posisi gw di posisinya Lot. Kebayang gak sih, kalo tiba-tiba 1 kota bakal dihancurin, dan by God’s grace, lu bisa kabur sebelom kota itu diluluhlantakkan. Kalo jadi Lot, lu bakal ngasih tau siapa aja? Dan berapa besar usaha lu buat memaksa orang yang lu kasih tahu supaya ikut pergi bareng lu? Dan gimana perasaan lu kalo orang yang lu sayangin itu tetep ga mau, padahal lu tahu pasti keadaan di depan bakal kayak gimana?

Tapi ceritanya gak berhenti sampe situ. Kebayang gak sih, kalo lu harus meninggalkan (hampir) semua yang lu sayangin di belakang? Bahkan ketika itu perintah Tuhan, gw tetep ngerasa itu bakal susah banget.

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Membandingkan ke diri gw sendiri, mungkin gw perlu belajar menjadi lebih ‘jahat’ dan membiarkan. Mungkin gw perlu belajar untuk tega membiarkan orang laen menghadapi masalahnya sendirian, dan bertumbuh setelah menghadapi masalahnya itu, apalagi kalau itu masalah yang besar. Dan bukankah setiap orang perlu mempertanggungjawabkan perkaranya masing-masing di hadapan Tuhan?

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Tapi susah. >.<

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Oh ceritanya tetep ga berenti sampe situ. Gimana kalo, lebih parahnya,  setelah beberapa waktu ternyata yang lu ‘selamatkan’ malah membawa ‘malapetaka’ buat lu? Bukankah itu yang terjadi pada Lot? Keturunannya adalah yang akan menyeret bangsa Israel ke dalam dosa, dan malah perlu dimusnahkan.

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Huff. May I be wise in everything I do. And put God, above everything else. >.<

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Written while listening to Fireflies-Owl City (cover). PS: He has one hell heaven of a voice… I’m jealous….. T_T

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Empyreal Morning

Pagi itu. Ketika secercah cahaya mentari baru saja merekah di ufuk timur. Ketika bahkan lampu-lampu gedung yang menyala masih belum dimatikan. Ketika bagi sebagian yang lain mata masih susah untuk dibuka, dan selimut masih berat untuk disibakkan. Aku berdiri di sana, di samping jendela, memandang ke kejauhan sambil menghirup udara pagi seraya menyeruput susu segar dalam gelas yang kupegang.

Langit cepat berganti dari gelap menjadi terang dan aku menghela nafas. Momen pergantian malam menjadi pagi, ketika gelap menjadi terang, adalah sesuatu momen yang selalu spesial buatku. Waktu pergantian itu begitu cepat, bahkan kadang terlewatkan, sampai sering banyak orang tidak menghargainya lagi. Kadang aku heran, banyak orang menggerutu ketika malam menjelang, ketika hari sudah usai. Tapi, hanya sedikit orang yang aku tahu bersyukur karena pagi masih menjelang dan malam telah usai. Atau mungkin aku yang kurang bersosialisasi. Atau terlalu banyak berpikir. Entahlah. Kutarik kursiku lalu duduk, seraya menaruh gelas yang ada di tanganku di meja.

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Posted by on July 19, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Little Servant

I switched to melancholy mode right away when I stumbled upon this song..

Pakai-pakailah aku jadi pelayan kecil-Mu.
Walau aku masih terlalu kecil, Tuhan pakai aku.

T’rima-t’rimalah aku s’bagai persembahan hidup.
Walau tiada lagi yang kumiliki selain diriku sendiri.

Reff:

Ingatkan tekadku ini sampai ku besar nanti.
Ku mau kabarkan kasih-Mu, Yesus sahabatku.

Ingatkan tekadku ini sampai ku besar nanti.
Ku mau kabarkan kasih-Mu, Yesus sahabat dan Tuhanku.

How many of us sang this song when we were still a little child? How many of us cried? (I cried). How many of those, remembered? And how could I forget, the humble little servant’s heart?

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Pakai, pakailah aku~

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Written in the night’s silence.

 
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Posted by on July 18, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Question

Being a kaypoh person, being ‘curcol-ed’ (if there’s such a word) is a common thing for me. Like, seriously. You’ll be amazed to know that some, no, many ‘heavy’ sharing sessions can start from just a simple ‘How are you?’ or asking about the status update (or in my case, almost anything) in either facebook, msn, or gtalk. Thank God for those! =P

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But, lots and lots of my friends are facing the harsh realities these days. Don’t ask me why. In fact, it seems like this holiday is full of problems for them. Not that life itself is not full of problems, but these problems are somehow more startling than those little-problems-you-can-just-go-through. Future goals such as works or further education, self-identity, sickness and even death, family matters, relationship matters (oh, yes, even the legendary sinetron-like unapproved relationship), etc. Oh well, to be fair, there are also some good news, like this one, or some FYP students who got their results right (don’t let me start with how different were my FYP first trial’s result in the beginning with the previous experiments. =.=”), or any other things and I’m truly happy for those good news.

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Posted by on July 15, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 

The Appointment

Don’t pray when you feel like it. Have an appointment with The Lord and keep it.

-Corrie ten Boom-

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Can’t help it, I MUST share this. It’s a good one, really.
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Do you have the appointment? And if you do, do you cancel it almost everytime by saying: I’m tired.. You understand, rite?
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Written while reading the book.

 
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Posted by on July 1, 2010 in Chapter 1.5: The relaxed period

 
 
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